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<title>Oct. 20th, “You Could Talk About It, You Know?” by Morpheus626</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044595">Oct. 20th, “You Could Talk About It, You Know?”</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morpheus626/pseuds/Morpheus626'>Morpheus626</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mr. Robot (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:01:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>378</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morpheus626/pseuds/Morpheus626</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Carrying over my synopsis from my post of this on Tumblr: Will I ever cease to write random monologues for Elliot? Probably not, because like this one they just keep happening. Inspired in part by one of Elliot’s lines from Episode One of Season Four, though as for where in the series this could be set…idk. it’s just kind of a random snapshot lol.</p>
<p>And you probably guessed, another Fictober 2019 piece!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Oct. 20th, “You Could Talk About It, You Know?”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It isn’t that therapy doesn’t help at all. It just feels frustrating to me now for reasons I know and some I expect I’d actually have to go back to therapy to dissect properly.</p>
<p>But sometimes, That’s as tiring as the illness itself. You can get sick of hearing about it, talking about it constantly, recovery and refills and sliding back and coping and failing to cope and failing to thrive, as if you could somehow get an F in therapy.</p>
<p>Which, as far as I know, you can’t.</p>
<p>Darlene brought up talking again recently. I can hear her on repeat in my head: “I know something’s bothering you. You could talk about it, you know? To me, your doctor, fuck, Flipper, just…somebody.”</p>
<p>She left frustrated, and I don’t blame her, but I’m frustrated too, in my own way. </p>
<p>It’s just so much work sometimes. Holding yourself up, together, staying alive. Sometimes, you just want a break.</p>
<p>I do, at least. I guess I can only sort of speak for you, friend. Can’t know exactly what you want, yet you’re in my head…so surely, you must want a break every now and again too.</p>
<p>People always think that that a break like that means dead. But it doesn’t, not always.</p>
<p>A lot of times, it just means…like, hitting a pause button on everything. The rest of the world on hold, while you can catch up, on work, on rest, on just having a second to fucking breathe, really breathe.</p>
<p>Darlene talks sometimes about how I ought to take a trip. Somewhere quiet, after, well…everything…calms down. If it ever calms down. If I can calm it down.</p>
<p>I have a hard time envisioning that, but at the same time, it sounds almost okay. A trip somewhere that feels like it moves slow, where things are almost too quiet. The closest to actually hitting a Life Pause button that I can get, maybe. </p>
<p>I think you might like it too. Being in some quiet and calm for a bit. For both our sakes, and Darlene’s peace of mind, I’ll keep it in mind at least. </p>
<p>For now though, there’s no time for quiet, or too much talking, or therapy. </p>
<p>But maybe someday, there will be.</p>
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